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Description - All the Tea in China by Kyril Bonfiglioli

After an act of lechery anyone but a close relative might forgive, Karli Mortdecai Van Cleef leaves Holland with his uncle's buckshot lodged in the seat of his breeches. Discretion being the least-idiotic part of valour he hides out in teeming London's tea shops and opium dens.
Inspired by a shotgun-blast in the seat of his breeches, young Karli Van Cleer quits his native Holland to seek his fortune. ALL THE TEA IN CHINA follows his perilous journey across the globe, as Karli is confronted by mountainous seas, high-piled plates of curry and the ferocious penalties of the Articles of War. En route he acquires some interesting diseases, a fortune, and a wife almost as good as new. And changes his name to Mortdecai. Addicts and newcomers alike will revel in this lusty tale of an ancestor of Charlie Mortdecai who helped make Britain great - for a price.

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