If you haven't met Archie the Alpaca now's your chance. Prolific writer, social observer, grassiccino drinker, occasional dancer and loyal friend, Archie sees the world like no-one else. Gathered here are his thoughts, feelings, loves, hates and everything in between. From his remarks on the volume of phone conversations to training a parrot to hypnotize you to sleep, to a chance meeting with Kim Jong-un, his diary will teach you to think about everything you know just a little bit differently.