Rick "Dickie" Duncan is turning fifty. Meh.

On the eve of this mid-century milestone, he finds himself alone in his mother's Ottawa basement, surrounded by gaudy decor and a carpet that hasn't been raked in years. Grabbing some brews and frozen hotdogs, Rick rummages through the clutter that's made up his dissatisfied life.

From the death of Santa to the last days of Scottish Rot, Rick meanders through the decades, mapping his existence amid the pop culture of the '70s to the present day.

Marking key moments of his unsated misadventures and real-life dating disasters, Rick reminds himself that his journey is a love story. Sort of.