Mental Hospital Hair is Simon Crump's new novel.

Michelle’s leant up against the bar. The dress she’s wearing, a short, tight, low - cut, shiny red PVC number, is slashed up one side and laced together with a thin black cord which zig-zags through eyelets.

It doesn’t leave that much to the imagination. Which is fine by me as I haven’t got that much of an imagination. You don’t really need an imagination for what I do. You need a brain and a good strong pair of hands to repair cars... but not an imagination. These days the younger lads in the trade call themselves ‘vehicle technicians’. But not me. I’m just a mechanic.

“Ground-breaking and perfectly achieved.” Duncan McLean.

“Absolutely mad and absolutely brilliant.” Steve Finbow.