Self-help sucks! Self-absorbed attempts to be happy are WORK. Why eat kale, exercise to the bone, and embark on a "thoughtful, engaging, and compelling" pursuit of happiness when kvetching a blue streak works wonders on your lousy mood?

In this hilarious month-by-month survival guide from Barb Best, you'll learn:

- How to coddle your inner curmudgeon

- 20 great reasons NOT to have sex

- Self-care for drama queens

- Money tips for the miserable

Misery: It's an art form if you do it right. Embrace the pain; feel the joy!